What Hurts the Most
by SephirothChan
Summary: Zexion died during his mission in Chain of memories, what will Demyx do with out him?


So this is exceptionally sad... and kind of pointless, but I like to think this is what Demyx would have done in chapter 7 of welcome to the organization had I actually killed off Zexy... Man, this is random, oh well

I still don't own kingdom hearts and I don't own Rascal Flatts either even though it'd be pretty tight if I did!

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What Hurts The Most

Demyx walked down the deserted unused corridors of Castle Oblivion. He refused to believe what Xemnas said to them at the meeting that morning. He walked along afraid to breath because if he took a breathe he was sure that the tears threatening to fall would start pouring and he wasn't sure he'd be able to stop them. Xemnas told them that the mission had been a failure, that 13 had become 8. Demyx left before the meeting was over, he couldn't take it anymore, he couldn't take the would be funeral that Xemnas was giving for the fallen members. Especially not when he got to the part about Zexion.

No one knew Zexion the way he did. No one ever saw that perfect smile or knew that he cried when they watched sad love stories. To everyone else, Zexion was emotionless, just another nobody, but to Demyx, Zexion was perfect. Zexion was what made Demyx whole, and he knew Zexion felt the same. Zexion told him it was true the night before left, but Demyx was afraid to give an answer.

Zexion told him if it weren't for him, he would have left the organization a long time ago, since it was obvious this kingdom hearts business was useless and their real hearts were lost. Zexion really didn't want to go on the mission but he didn't really have a choice, so after he told Demyx everything, admitted all his secret thoughts he called up a portal and left, since he was under the impression Demyx was asleep.

Demyx watched him walk away, knowing he'd be back and then, when he'd had time to think about it he could tell him he heard everything, and he felt the same way, but now-- now he would never be able to tell Zexion anything. It wasn't fair, it wasn't so much that he could never see his lover again. It was that he never told him how he felt and that he still had so much to say.

Demyx brightened up hearing footsteps in the hallway behind him and turned around knowing no one was ever in that part of the castle but himself or Zexion. "Zexy?" he asked finally being brave enough to take a breath. He looked around but all he saw was he shadow heartless that was following him for some reason.

He ran over to the heartless intent on punching the damn thing in the face for tricking him but when he got to it he just collapsed to the ground on his knees. It wasn't the stupid heartless's fault. There was no one he could blame, accidents happen right?

He hid his face in his gloved hands choking back sobs trying not to cry, but he couldn't stop. He crawled over to the wall still sobbing, but trying to stay strong. He was grateful for there being no one around to see him like this.

"Zexy come back..." he choked out through sobs. he couldn't stand it, it wasn't fair. How could they say nobodies didn't have hearts? If nobodies didn't have hearts how could possibly be this torn up? Maybe Zexion had been right? Maybe they did complete each other, maybe he was so sad, because from now on he really would be just a non existent being?

"You were right Zexy, I love you too, just come back to me..." Demyx was practically screaming as he let his head fall back against the wall. He sobbed a bit more letting tears fall down his cheeks. He closed his eyes summoning his sitar and holding it close to him, it was like it was all he had left, sure he had friends in the organization, but without Zexion he felt empty.

He started playing his sitar just strumming a few cords softly trying to calm himself, but it didn't help the rain on the roof just got louder. "I'm sorry..." he whispered to Zexion although he knew he couldn't hear him. Closing his eyes his strumming started turning into a real melody, and before he knew it he was singing along.

"It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go  
But I'm doin' It..." he sang under his breath through sobs.

"It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone  
Still Harder" he sang getting a little louder as the sobs started to subside, but the tears still streamed out of his closed green eyes.

"Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret  
But I know if I could do it over" He finally opened his eyes letting the tears flow freely from his for once not bright green eyes, they seemed somehow colder.

"I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart  
That I left unspoken" he sang still kind of quietly, but he no longer sounded like he was crying at least.

He played the sitar along to the same beat looking blankly at the wall before him and was surprised by what he saw just like the clones that would normally pop when he was fighting one was forming in front of him, but this time it was different. It looked just like Zexion. He started shaking and pushed himself up off the floor still playing afraid if he stopped the water clone would disappear.

"Zexy?" he asked reaching out and touching it as he let the sitar drop to the floor. When the sitar hit the ground so did the clone. It disappeared with a splash and Demyx started crying again picking up the sitar leaning against the wall closing his eyes.

"What hurts the most, is being so close,and having so much to say, and watching you walk away, and never knowing, what could have been, and not seeing that loving you, is what I was tryin' to do..." he sang not once opening his eyes to see if maybe the clone came back, he couldn't take seeing Zexy like that again.

When he opened his eyes he saw this time there were more clones all of them looked just like Zexion he started balling and dropped the sitar making them all disappear. "I'm sorry, I never told you Zexy... You didn't just make me feel like I had a heart... You were my heart, I still love you, I always will..."

Demyx slumped back to the ground hugging his knee's to his chest again. "Please don't leave me like this..." he whispered hiding his face in his knee's. "Come back..." he whispered shaking. He looked up feeling a cold hand running through his hair.

It was the same shadow heartless from before. He looked at it questioningly as he let his legs fall to the ground out in front of him. "What do you want!" he spat turning away from the thing. It seemed to be trying to say something, but Demyx didn't speak 'heartless' so he just raised a questioning eyebrow. the heartless crawled up into his lap and suddenly Demyx didn't feel sad anymore.

"Zexy?" he asked reaching out and touching the creatures cheek. It seemed like it was still trying to say something, but Demyx still couldn't understand it. "Thank you..." he whispered not really sure if the creature was really Zexy or if it was just trying to comfort him because he was his master..

"I'm going to keep you..." he beamed wiping the tears out of his eyes, "and I'll call you Zexy, and you can live in my room, and..." he cut himself off looking into the creatures emotionless yellow eyes and swore for a minute he saw them flash blue. He was convinced he was crazy.

"I don't know if you're really my Zexy or not, but either way, I'll protect you no matter what.. I'll keep you safe..." he said unclasping the necklace around his neck and putting it on the heartless. The heartless cocked his head a bit confused, but it looked happy to have found Demyx.

Demyx smiled for once thinking that the heartless was kind of cute, which was strange since heartless had always freaked him out. He picked up the heartless and held him close like you would with a puppy. He smiled looking down at it unsure how he was going to explain to everyone why he was keeping a heartless as a pet, but it didn't matter as long as he had his Zexy back. He sighed walking off down the corridor towards his bedroom and other less deserted parts of the castle.

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So I think you guys should review this.. even though it was pointless and sad and then happy, but I don't know...

REVIEW!

This is the shortest KH fic I've ever written --;; I still like it...

The song Demyx was singing is a song by Rascal Flatts, What hurts the most...

Here are the lyrics...

_I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house  
That don't bother me  
I can take a few tears now and then and just let 'em out  
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while  
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me  
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok  
But that's not what gets me _

What hurts the most  
Was being so close  
And having so much to say  
And watching you walk away  
And never knowing  
What could have been  
And not seeing that loving you  
Is what I was tryin' to do

It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go  
But I'm doin' It  
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone  
Still Harder  
Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret  
But I know if I could do it over  
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart  
That I left unspoken

What hurts the most  
Is being so close  
And having so much to say  
And watching you walk away  
And never knowing  
What could have been  
And not seeing that loving you  
Is what I was trying to do

What hurts the most was being  
so close  
And having so much to say  
And watching you walk away  
And never knowing  
What could have been  
And not seeing that loving you  
Is what I was trying to do

Not seeing that loving you  
That's what I was trying to do

I'm not sure why that song reminded me so much of them , but it did so I decided I had to write this.. Since it would have been kind of cute if I would have killed off Zexy in Welcome to the Organization and used this, but then I like it better the way I actually wrote chapter 7 so this can be it's own story, well it's own chapter...


End file.
